You know that famous scene in Roman Holiday when Gregory Peck reaches into that statue mouth thing and freaks Audrey Hepburn out when he pretends his hand just got bitten off?

Okay, firstly... Audrey Hepburn's character? TSTL? Discuss.

Quite honestly, that is what the last four months of my life has felt like. No, not TSTL, although I suppose that could be debatable. But, reaching out into the darkness for something I can't see and risking getting my hand bitten off. This is the life of a full-time writer. Welcome. Try the veal.

What I have learned:

1. Nothing worth having is easy.
2. Being published is not as glamorous or as much fun as I thought it would be.
3. I am incredibly positive (depending on the day, hour, minute) about my sustained future as a writer.

But it ain't easy.

In the past four months, this is what I've done...

1. Written a full first draft of a paranormal romance novel.
2. Completely rewritten a YA novel.
3. Written four proposals: 1 category, 1 paranormal romance, 1 sci-fi, 1 YA (in prog)
3. Written one outline for a book already on contract -- Devils & Diamonds.
4. Finished editorial revisions on Stakes & Stilettos.
5. Um... I know there's other bits and pieces but nothing comes immediately to mind. General brainstorming and the like.

The full first draft of the paranormal romance formerly known on the blog as NWM? It's dead. Doornail dead. I pulled it from submission because, 1) it was rejected by two editors who said it didn't suit my "voice", and 2) my gut told me I was trying to chase the market and failing miserably (it had a group of supernatural warriors in it. Enough said.). It represents two months of my time that won't end up in a sale. Waste of time? Hell yeah. Do I regret writing it in the first place? A little. But it taught me loads about what I really want to write and that's helped hone my focus right now. Every other project I have on the stove right now is something I hope to finish writing.

At this very moment, I'm waiting on news on two projects from the list above. Three, really. It's so odd to have one's fate in someone else's hands. I think about my writing career 24/7, so any delays in decisions cause me tons of angst. It's exciting on some levels, like a roller coaster. I know that everything will work out well, or at least the way it was supposed to. I believe in fate. I also believe that fate can be swayed by hard work. I told a friend that if every project I have out right now results in a sale, then I'm going to be seriously screwed because that's a lot of deadlines. But I welcome that. I work best when I have a deadline.

Right now I'm working on a YA proposal. I'm going to start there. I'd like to write it in full. But different ideas are coming to me...really great ideas...and the doubt weasels are at work. Maybe I can't make it as good as it has the potential to be. But I'm going to try my best. I'm going to keep reaching toward my dreams and hopefully not lose my hand in the process.

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I saw Iron Man yesterday. One of the biggest perks about not working 9-5 is going to weekday matinees. Word.

It was good. Loved Robert Downey Jr. Wanted to punch Pepper Potts in the face for being a total doormat. Ugh. Stuck in the fifties much? Couldn't they have updated her character a bit? Give me Michelle Pfieffer as Catwoman any day.

Didn't love it. Didn't hate it. It didn't live up to the hype for me. Spiderman 2 reigns as my favorite superhero movie and to say the least I'm definitely looking forward to the Wolverine movie.